We had been living in the States for a short period of time when we heard that my mom's side grandfather passed away. Mom had decided not to go and visit her family members in Korea for her dad's funeral, for she was afraid that she might have not wanted to come back to the States leaving her mother who now was left alone without her husband.
One whole year passed by, and we got a call from Mom's brother that grandmother passed away. Mom wanted to go and visit this time, but we realized that her visa had expired shortly before we heard that sad news. It was already too late for my mom to apply for her new visa to attend her mom's funeral.
I saw my mom sobbing in her bedroom.
Mom was trying real hard not to make too loud noise.
It almost looked like she was biting her tongue to help herself not to cry too much. I couldn't stop crying, not because I was sad that my grandmother passed away,
but because my mom was sad.
I could see myself in her.
I could see myself crying and biting my tongue to bear the pain.
So I painted my grandmother.
ㅇㅇㄹ
means her name.
양영례
Yang Young Rye
I only take the very first consonant of each word to title my paintings.
************************************************
Lilies with strong fragrance
Bearing ten children
Each and every one of your ten fingers hurts when you bite it
So strong and patient
Thick stem and roots hold all members tight
Overcoming countless nights with empty stomach
Bearing all the pains and heartache
Generations of generations
Her warm and wild blood runs in my body
Whispering in my ear that she was Mom's mother
Engraving on my heart that she still lives in Mom's heart
I respect you with all that I have
I thank you with all that I am
I love you for being who you are
You are my mother's mother
You carried Mom in your womb
You gave birth to Mom
When I see Mom
I see you
할머니
사모합니다
당신의 거칠고 따뜻했던 두 손이
많이 그립습니다
나의 어머니의 어머니
당신의 복중의 아이가
나의 어머니가 되었습니다
당신의 뜨겁고 붉은 피가
나의 어머니의 심장에서 뜁니다
나의 심장에서 뜁니다
당신의 향기로왔던 근면 성실하고 굳은 의지가
내가 머리뭍는 나의 어머니의 젖가슴에서 납니다
새벽의 할머니가 어머니를 낳았습니다
새벽의 어머니가 저를 낳았습니다
이제는 저도
새벽의 딸이 되어야겠습니다.
